I don't want to talk about it now.

But we have to talk about it anyhow


Slip
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies

I can't right now. Every picture of a brunette girl and a black haired boy makes me want to...not cut, exactly, but do something repetitive and self-destructive.

Things I've done:
-gotten stuff ready for first day of work
-took a shower, exfoliated with (coconut oil and sugar) and shaved my legs
-mindfully flossed and brushed my teeth
-put on lotion
-took about four klonopins and 2 clonidines.
-straightened my room
-filled 8 bottles of water

I miss him. But 9 days sober means too much.

It means 1 buzz could bring me back to him, hurting him and me even more.

Tags:

(no subject)
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies

Monday work 830-1, bring ssc.

Get rx if possible?
Go to bank in case old job goes broke
DBT at 6

Tags:

This was my day
skinnydrugs
breaking_skies

Things that happened today:
1) bus was 25 minutes late
2) which meant I had to walk over an hour to get to work on time
3) which gave me a fucking blister
4) at work I realized I period bled all over my pants
5) while getting a fricking tampon, my phone fell in the toilet and died
6) then, work said I was being let go because of hours.

Yeah, today sucked. :(


Breathe
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies

I might be scared but i will keep calm and carry on. :)

Tags:

(no subject)
wriscutters 2
breaking_skies
Both of my nieces, Mary Jane and Willow were here all weekend. Candace brought baby Sydney over today too. While I was able to be social for a bit, I'm losing it now.

Stupid depression/exhaustion.

For those of you on tumblr, I post there more often (http://somedaygirl.tumblr.com).

I also have a twitter (http://www.twitter.com/heyjohanna) and an instagram (madnellybly).

Life is craycray. <3

I need to start using this more often.
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies
TO DO LIST
Friday’s 2 Do List:
[ √ ] Pick up & cash paycheck at Bank 1
[ √ ] Deposit in Bank 2
[ √ ] Take a shower
[ √ ] Pay part of electric bill ($50)
[ √ ] Eat
[ √ ] Go to work (4-815)

[ _ ] Pay VS Credit card ($22)
[ _ ] Pay Express Credit card ($25)
[ _ ] Pay part of fine at courthouse $??)

Saturday’s To Do List:
[ √ ] Work (12-6)
[ √ ] Eat (with Rachel? I hope)
Sunday’s To Do List:
[ √ ] Drop off rxs at Walmart
[ √ ] Go to DUI class
Monday’s To Do List:
[ √ ] Drop off rx at Kroger
[ √ ] Eat with Alex
Tuesday’s To Do List:
[ _ ] Clean room
[ _ ] Take a long, relaxing shower
[ _ ] Straighten up Mom's house

(no subject)
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies
Friday night is grandkid's night at my house. If we're especially lucky we get both Mary Jane (6) and Willow (3).

Let me tell you, both of these blonds are hellions. Mary Jane is bossy and is so very sensitive/somewhat manipulative. Willow likes getting into trouble just to get yelled at.

Last night we just had Willow. While mom put together the new shelves, I fed her -- cut up pieces of a cheez stick and hummus. After colouring then running around in circles for 30 minutes (seriously, after hours at daycare, how does she still have energy?) she helped me clean my room and I painted her nails to look like mine. Around 8, she got into my waterproof mascara and got it all over herself. It took about 45 minutes using make up remover to get it off her. After this, I handed her off to grandma.

I have a third niece now.

(no subject)
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies
My name is Johanna.

I have borderline personality disorder.

I have borderline personality disorder.

I have borderline personality disorder.

I have borderline personality disorder.

I have borderline personality disorder.

I have borderline personality disorder.


There's no reason to live if you're borderline

(no subject)
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies
Our homes have been battle-grounds many an evening. In the morning we have kissed and made up. Our friends have counseled chuckling the [wo]men and we have done so with finality, only to be back in a little while hoping, always hoping.

...................shit.


I have to save my life.

(no subject)
wristcutters // smile
breaking_skies
Tonight was my first AA meeting. I think I'm finally getting over David...--ok, too much to ask for -- but I just love all my family and friends. Grateful.

?

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